Road Stories

Alleged Z06 Street Race

Hey Gang,

Well, this morning, it finally happened.. I ended up next to a new "Zed-6" Corvette (Z06) at a light. It
was silver and had the tell-tale black duct just in front of the rear wheel.

As I was checking out the car, the driver had developed a big evil grin on his face, the expression
seemed to clearly read "Yummy, a Por-ch!" Well, that was the glove-slap in the face for me! I decided I'd at least give him a run for his money.

I knew I wasn't quicker. At least, not on paper. He's got something like 385 HP and a 4 second 0-60. I've heard my boss rave about the "Zed 6" too many times already. He's got a C5 that he also goes on and on about.. Whenever he does so, I kindly and tactfully remind him that the C5 design, with its battery and transmission in the back, its Weissach-style rear suspension, and its torque tube, is a copy of a design from a little R&D car company called Porsche, implemented back in 1977, on certain Projekt 9-2-8.

Anyway, this particular light is a good one because it begins a new unopened industrial park and is pretty
much barren. The minimal access roads are clearly visible about a 1/4 mile before you get to them. It has some nice clear curves in it and is currently devoid of trees (a Florida tradition for new developements). It is on my way to work, and I stop at it almost every day.

I took advantage of knowing the light timing and hoped he wasn't. After smiling back politely to his evil grin, I put on my best Leonard Laub imitation of "You are not worthy to be raced" and dropped the clutch and punched it as soon as the light twitched to green. My tires barely chirped and I caught him off guard to get about a two-car lead. However, I saw that he started to quickly gain on me, and I felt like I was standing still as he passed me. What was wrong with my car?!! I started cursing and thinking, gee, maybe one of dem thar Z06's wouldn't be too bad afterall?

The only "fault" on this new industrial park is a few slight dips in the road. They have never caused me any problems, even at good speeds, so I didn't think anything of it. However, as he hit the first dip before me, I could swear I saw something fly off the car to the side of the road! Just after the dip is a nice curve and we hit that next, both of us still at good speed, him first. That's when my opinion of the Z06, with it's 928-copied design, changed forever. As he hit that curve at speed, the same side where something seemed to have flown off before, looked like it started to resonate/flap. Then, suddenly, as he accelerated out of the curve, the whole front side fender flew off the car! I couldn't believe it!! Undaunted, he continued on, still leaving me further behind, but his fender laying in the middle of the median behind us.

He hit the next dip at good speed. This time a small something, followed IMMEDIATELY by the other fender, just flew off the car and landed on the road! I had to swerve around it to not damage it, and, more importantly, to not damage my car! BUT, he continued, UNDAUNTED, still gaining distance! The next light was still a good 3 miles away. I had to turn off on a side road that takes me to work, but the last I saw of him was him hitting the next dip, and i could swear I saw him stick his arm out the window to hold the door in place...

When I got to work, I parked my well-engineered and intact car at my usual remote spot and closed its door with its usual comforting and resounding solid thud. My boss was pulling up with his Pewter C5, and he had that same usual and pretentiously smug "my car's faster than yours" look on his face. I just smiled back - hopefully he couldn't read MY face, because I'm sure I couldn't hide my amused expression of "I can't believe what worthless, buckets of bolts those vettes are..."

Da devil made me do it :) Where's dat Nomex Underwear?!

Carlos Hernandez
86.5 928 S 5-Speed, 150K Miles
Gran Prix White / Black Leather